Many people live in a cloak of fear of how others perceive them. Others feel repressed by society and what they need to do to get ahead in life. But what if being your authentic self was the key to your happiness? There are a lot of ways that you can begin to be who you really are.
Society has a way of molding you into what they think you should be like. But the idea of “fitting in” is at odds with being your authentic self and being true to who you really are.
It is time to change the notion that “fitting in” means being who others want you to be and not who you truly are. All good things must begin somewhere so let’s get started in understanding how to be your authentic self.
What makes a person authentic?
A person can be seen as authentic by others when they are “true to themselves”. This means that they are not acting in a way that would not be seen as their actual selves, or the opposite of what their actual selves might do. They are not pretending to be something that they are not, but instead identifying themselves and then living up to this identity through action.
Living according to this principle can sometimes be difficult when there is a contradiction between what one’s identity and self-image is, and the actions of those around them. This can often lead to a discrepancy between an individual’s own self-perception and their perception by others, although for some people this difference does not seem to exist.
Because of this difficulty in finding true authenticity, some people choose instead to live as though they were authentic, regardless of whether or not they are actually being themselves. This tends to cause a discrepancy between their perceived selves and their actual selves, leading them to be seen as inauthentic.
The idea that being oneself is more important than acting the way one thinks others want them to act can also lead to some individuals being perceived as inauthentic. When one identifies themselves and acts accordingly, they are not necessarily following the guidelines of many social groups or cultures. This can make others think that they are insincere, dishonest or have another motive for living this way.
If a person is not seen as being authentic, it can have many negative consequences for how others perceive him or her. It can lead to a lack of trust and respect, which in turn can be detrimental to their relationships with those around them. Some people believe that the lack of authenticity in others stems from the fact that they do not accept themselves, however true authenticity ultimately comes from within each individual.
How do I know if I am being my authentic self?
Many people struggle with the difficulties of being themselves, and once you have established your own authenticity in the world, learning to trust it is not an easy task. Three things must be done before you can gain confidence in yourself: Understand yourself Identify the pain Be willing to forgive others
First of all you need to understand who you are. The personality that you give to the world is not 100% accurate, but it is a starting point. Explore what’s true for you and what isn’t then build a foundation on what matters most.
Understanding yourself is understanding your core. The personality that you give to the world is not 100% accurate, but it is a starting point. Explore what’s true for you and what isn’t then build a foundation on what matters most.
The Personality that you give to the world is not 100% accurate, but it is a starting point. Explore what’s true for you and what isn’t then build a foundation on what matters most.
Understanding yourself means being able to identify your core principles and beliefs in yourself. Not what you are told or taught but what you believe is true. You need to be able to take a step back from your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider’s perspective, before you can begin to understand who you truly are. Once that foundation has been built, it will be much easier for you to live your life in a way that is authentic and genuine.
11 Strategies to help you develop being your authentic self
The following is some advice on how to be your authentic self. Anybody can tap into their authentic nature, but it might take some time to discover who you really are.
1. Pick out at least one character trait that is part of your true self
Once you have a solid understanding of who you really are and the person that you want to be, it will be much easier to develop your authentic self. It is important during this stage to not try to reinvent yourself into something that is not true. But instead, just find one aspect of your personality that will help you begin transforming into the person that you are meant to be.
Let’s say that you have a passion for fitness, you can begin to identify areas of your personality that will allow you to achieve your fitness goals. Using this example again, your true nature may lay in the fact that you have a passion for fitness so take this into consideration and find something else that can be leveraged as well.
You might also do well in art or cooking, which would help build on the foundation of being happy and healthy.
Take the time to find out what’s true for you and what isn’t. Once you have done that, it will be much easier for you to develop your authentic self.
2. Ask yourself what is truly important to you?
It is important for us to be aware of our values in life. These are the principles that we value, which will determine how we live our lives and should be a deciding factor for us. Values can include family, honesty, integrity or a number of other traits. Once you have identified your values, it will help you to begin living authentically and in accordance with who you truly are.
When you identify these it doesn’t mean that they are set in stone and will not change, you can always tweak your values as you grow and develop. This should be your baseline to work from and make a better decision based on the value that you have set.
E.g. If you value being honest, then it would mean avoiding lying to your family and friends if at all possible. Lying doesn’t serve to help you but rather hold you back and make other people feel less trust in you, ultimately leading to a lack of respect. So by taking this into consideration by not lying, you are living an authentic life which is aligned with your values and beliefs in yourself.
3. Understand that there is only one of you
There is only one you, so take a moment to realize this. You are not just your body and your mind, but several other factors as well. All of these aspects work together to help make you who you are. If you do anything from experiencing life in a different way, to experiencing a different emotion then it affects all aspects of your life as well.
Being this aware of what you do and how it affects other people, can help you to understand who you really are. By becoming more aware of your actions, you will help to make better decisions that will have a positive impact on those around you. This awareness may also help to improve your communication skills with others in your life so that there is less misunderstanding and conflict.
It is also an awareness of becoming a better leader in your life as well and can improve the relationships you have with others.
4. Try to find the good in each situation
You might be going through a difficult situation right now, but try and focus on the people that you have met and the experiences instead. Sometimes it is hard to be positive, and focus on what positive things you gain from a situation. But if you take time to see what is good about it then your perspective will shift. This could be something as simple as a lesson that you have learned from experience or even a person that you have learned not to trust.
Try to find the good in every situation, especially when you don’t feel like there is anything positive about it. There is always something that you can take away from a situation and make it seem positive.
Make a conscious effort to do this until your mind realizes that this is something that is starting to develop. Then you will begin to see what is happening around you with a different perspective and be able to experience more positivity in life as well.
5. Stay positive
This is a very common misconception that people have within the self-help market. It just isn’t possible to stay happy all of the time and never feel sad, because we are human! If you are constantly being negative then it can make you feel worse, which will prevent you from experiencing anything positive in life. So make sure to stay upbeat when you can, instead of dwelling on what is wrong in your life.
Don’t be afraid to say “I am not happy about this situation and I would like to find a way to change it for the better”. This may cause others to view you differently, but you will be able to see a difference in your life for the better.
6. Build a support network of people who identify with your true self
You will want to surround yourself with people who are also trying to achieve their true potential, in the hopes that you can learn from each other and become a better person. It is important for you to connect with others who share this same passion for life, so that you can find ways to share your enthusiasm and thoughts around it.
By surrounding yourself with positive people, it will give you motivation and inspiration on what it means to be authentic. You will also find that you have a much easier time in life when you are around positive people. Because you want to be around like-minded people, if you can.
This is also one way that you can get better at being authentic and actually be true to yourself. So stay positive and surround yourself with people who are also doing their best to live an authentic life.
7. Learn to be present
Learn to stop living in the past or future, and try to be present in the moment. It is well known that it is difficult for a person to live an authentic life when they are always trying to figure out what is happening next. So do your best to focus on being here and now, because that is all there is.
It may be difficult for you at first because you want more than anything for things to happen your way and be easier, but you should realize this isn’t possible. It is important to take a step back and actually see the people and things around you, because they can make life easier or harder for you.
By practicing being present you may notice that you feel happier and more relaxed during the day. You will also feel less stressed about future events, which will cause more problems than it solves anyways. So learn to be present and enjoy today, tomorrow will come whether you like it or not.
8. Take action on a daily basis to be your authentic self
One of the most important things that you will need to practice is taking action. This can be hard if you are trying to be authentic with your emotions, because it takes a lot of courage and self-awareness. But in order to accomplish anything in life, you have to take action on a daily basis. That means every day, you should wake up and make a decision that benefits not only yourself but everyone around you as well.
Sometimes we make so many excuses for why we cannot do something today, that tomorrow never comes. This can be a difficult thing to do because you don’t want to make others feel bad, or be criticized. But you will have to do this anyway. Everything that happens in your life is a direct result of your decisions.
So by taking daily action on a consistent basis, it can become habit and then it will become easier for you to continue down this path. You will also find that it helps your mind become more aware and less judgmental as well.
9. Practice speaking your truth and dealing with awkward encounters
Sometimes you will say something to people that might make them feel uncomfortable, but if you are being true and authentic then this is an important part of the process. In order to learn how to live a positive life from an authentic standpoint, we cannot be afraid of what everyone thinks of us.
Be willing to take risks and stand up for yourself when you need to. Because your voice is one thing that is unique, like no other person in the world. So don’t be afraid to use it and make yourself heard.
This will go a long way in breaking down other people’s false preconceived notions about you and the life that you choose to live. Being authentic means that we are willing to speak our truth regardless of what others may think of it.
10. Choose to live a life you will be proud of
If you are going to go through all of the work that it takes to live an authentic life, then you will have to make sure that you are proud of it. The only way that we can possibly ever be satisfied with our lives is if we allow ourselves to be happy and feel good about what is happening in it. So choose your path and put your all into it.
Because you can’t be sad if you put your all into something and it doesn’t turn out how you thought. Give it your best shot, be authentic and try to stay positive as much as possible. The more time you spend on making others happy by doing what they want, the less time that you have to figure out what makes you happy.
So just remember that authenticity is a process that is learned over time. Everyone is different and your path will be different as well. So just take one day at a time and try to make the best of it.
Also, you can use these steps to create a vision board for yourself or if you have a friend that is struggling with living an authentic life then maybe give him or her some pointers on how to live more authentically. It will help them out plenty, but more importantly for you it will show that you are willing to help someone else out.
11. Use a journal
Keeping a journal that allows you to write down your feelings and what you have done during the day. This is a great way for you to record how you were feeling and help to put things into perspective.
So use your journal and write down as many details as possible about what is going on in your life, good or bad. Sometimes it helps us to see our life in black and white, so it can be easier to understand where we are at in the process of living authentically.
Also, since you have been doing all of these things to help you discover what it means to be authentic, I suggest that you keep your journal by your side. This way you can write down how you feel and how what you did today made you feel.
And this will be great when it comes time to look back on your life and see how much progress that has been made in living authentically. You may find that you like what you see, and you can use these experiences for motivation for the future.
Examples of Authenticity
Need some examples of what authenticity looks like in practice? Be sure to read these five examples of people who are living their life with authenticity:
- Neil Pasricha
This inspirational blogger is driven by two main goals: to make the world suck less and to help others find happiness. Neil has made it his mission to be a better person, and in the process, he has found his own path to happiness while inspiring others through his words. He realizes that the best way to bring happiness into your life is by helping someone else find it.
- Gary Vaynerchuk
Gary is a young entrepreneur who wants to take his business all the way to the top. He realizes that any successful businessperson has to have a passion, and he knows that every person works best with purpose. He sets out to make himself better by improving on himself, and in the process he’s made himself key players in his own success story. That’s what authenticity means to him – creating a path where you can work your best, while doing good for others along the way.
- Catherine Austin Fitts
Catherine is a former Assistant Secretary of the US Department of Housing and Urban Development, and she is also the author of two New York Times bestselling books. Her singular goal is to provide solutions for economic issues, but she does this by thinking outside the box. Instead of taking herself or others out of their financial situations, she tries to find ways to make money work for us all. She’s working on finding a way to make everyone strong again. We can all learn from her.
- Dalai Lama
The Dalai Lama is a man who has devoted his whole life to helping others. A spiritual leader and an inspiring teacher, he is always there to remind us that we are all interconnected and that we should care for one another. The thing about him is that he doesn’t want to be top dog in his own life: he wants balance and non-attachment, interesting.
- John Grohol
John is a psychotherapist and a blogger who helps people with mental health problems to improve their life and overcome anxiety. He realized that you don’t have to suffer from anxiety or depression, but that you can learn to play your best in a healthy way, instead of being driven and controlled by it. He knows that knowing yourself is the key to living an authentic life.
Why is it hard to be authentic?
I know that you may be thinking that being authentic is just not possible. At least, not in a society like ours where everyone is trying to fit in and find their place in life. And yeah, I know that it’s hard to be yourself when everyone wants you to be something else. But I also know that it can happen… it’s just a matter of going through the steps and deciding for yourself what you want out of life.
I know that it can be scary to stand up for what you believe in and what you want out of your life, but to be authentic is to stand strong and confident in your beliefs. You can do it.
And when you are a genuinely happy person who cares about life in the material world then this will help change the world. This takes time and guts, but I know that you can do it because I did it and so many others have done it too.
Also, if you ever feel like you are in a place where you cannot be authentic then it is time for you to get out of that situation. The best way to find out who you are and what it really means to be authentic is too make incredible changes in your life, whether it’s cutting off toxic people or leaving a job that isn’t fulfilling.
In order for us to live authentically we have to put ourselves in a position where we are comfortable enough to be honest with ourselves and others. And we have to put ourselves in a position where we aren’t trying to be someone that we are not. For this reason, it is essential that you find a way to move beyond your old self and live authentically.
Why are authentic people so attractive?
There are many reasons why authentic people are so attractive to others, but let me share a few with you that make it so that it’s easier for you to understand.
- Because they are real
Authentic people don’t wear masks for everyone and they aren’t afraid of being who they really are. They live their life without pretense because they don’t want anyone to be forced into believing a lie. If a person is genuine then people will gravitate towards that confident and true mentality. It can be infectious!
- Because they are transparent
Real people are always honest and open about anything that they’re afraid to share. Authentic people are simply not afraid to be themselves and they apply the same in all parts of their life.
- Because they have a purpose
It’s important to live authentically so you can grow and learn, but the best reason is because that you want to make yourself better. You want to be the best you that you can be, and authenticity will help you do this.
When people are authentically living their lives they really do become better versions of themselves with every step they take forward. So by being authentic, they become more beautiful in other areas too; like more confident, happier and better in all aspects.
- Because they are happier
All of those benefits that I just mentioned are connected to the fact that we always want to make ourselves better and authentically live our lives. Authentic people have higher self-esteem because they aren’t fake with themselves, or anyone else. And they are happier too because they have found their place in life and they’re doing what they love!
- Because they are kind
Sincere and honest people know that being positive influences everyone around them. They don’t have to try to be someone else; they are just themselves and being truthful with them is the best thing they can do. This can be a lot easier if they aren’t acting fake or afraid to tell people the truth.
Being authentic doesn’t just make you attractive and interesting, it’s also very important in making the world a better place! Helping others is what makes life meaningful and authentic people are more likely to give to others because it’s something that matters deeply to them.
Summary
Being your authentic self is easy to say, but difficult to do. It all starts with you though. I know that it can be scary to put yourself out there and be real, but it’s worth being true to yourself and being yourself is worth the risk! Don’t you want a life full of love and fulfillment?
I am not saying that it is easy or simple to always be honest and authentic with the people in your life. Sometimes it is hard to be genuine especially in tough situations. But I do encourage you to be your authentic self because it can change your life for the better!
In conclusion, I would highlight that the most important reasons why we should live authentically are because it’s the right thing to do, and because we want to make ourselves better. If you are finding it difficult or scary to become more authentic then take a look at everything on this blog and try not to compare yourself with others. They have their own obstacles to overcome and you have yours.
Be yourself and be proud of who you are! And don’t forget to smooth talk back that person that you’ve been crushing on for the longest time!
I want to know… what does it mean for you to be authentic? What do you think about being authentic? Comment below. I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this topic. Thank you for reading.
