How to gain self-confidence after a break up in 10 simple steps

How to gain self-confidence after a break up can can seem daunting. Sometimes relationships end and you might feel like you’ve lost your confidence without even realizing it. After a breakup, maintaining everyday life can be stressful and difficult. Whether or not you choose to get back out there, it is important to stay motivated in the face of these tough times.

Here are some ways to regain your confidence after a breakup:

1) Focus on what’s working in your life

Take some time to reflect on what worked well about the relationship that didn’t work so well. Recognize the good qualities that attracted you to the other person and keep those in mind.

You most likely have so many things in your life that currently work well. Figure these out and concentrate on them so that you feel like you are in a good place.

When you focus on things that work it has a natural confidence-boosting effect. You feel like you are in control of your life and have some direction.

2) Be the best you can be

One way to keep your morale up is to remind yourself you are a great person, and that it is OK for you to have confidence. Try inspiring yourself by writing down all the amazing things about yourself, from the good qualities that attract other people, to the things that make you unique. Take pictures of these things if possible.

Keep these written things and pictures in a place where you will see them often. You can also pin them on a bulletin board or put them on your phone background. Keep this up throughout the breakup, as it will help you at all times of day to remind yourself that you are special and have value to others.

3) Be active

Being active during a breakup is beneficial because it keeps your mind off the other person. Make goals and accomplish them, whether through physical activities or self-improvement. If you are unable to do any activity take up yoga or other yoga-type poses.

4) Learn from your mistakes

Some people say you can’t learn from your mistakes, but the truth is you can. When you have made a mistake, it is helpful to take note of what went wrong and figure out how to avoid it in the future. For example: If you didn’t tell the other person that something was bothering you or they did not give you a chance to explain yourself, then after a breakup makes sure to do so when it occurs again.

5) Do something you enjoy

There is nothing better than feeling good about yourself and doing something you really enjoy. You might be surprised how many things you can do that will help you feel happy and keep your mind off of the break. Whatever it is, find a way to make it fun for yourself.

Doing things you love is a natural way of boosting your confidence. The happier you are, the more confident you feel. It will help you move on and appear to yourself that you can do anything, which is something that you should feel at any time of your life.

6) Talk to people

One way to feel better is by talking about what happened and getting it off your chest. It is extremely helpful to get your thoughts out of your head and exchanged with others. After a breakup, make sure that you talk to people whom you trust. This can help you through the rough times as you let others know what has happened or how you are feeling. They can offer advice on how to move forward or even tell you comforting stories of breakups they’ve been in the past.

Other people’s perspective helps you get a fresh outlook on your life and can give you the energy to move forward. It helps you understand from another angle how you can move forward in life so that your confidence does not suffer.

7) Be open to new experiences

Learning from mistakes can be a very helpful approach to getting back on track and improving your self-confidence. In the fight against heartbreak, it is important to make sure that you do not repeat any of your mistakes. It is good to experience new things and get out of your comfort zone.

Breaking up with someone will hurt, but if it causes you to change for the better then it will be worth it.

8) Follow your dreams

Follow your dreams and the goals you’ve always wanted to achieve. You don’t have to do them right now. Just concentrate on them and spend some time thinking about how they make you feel. Try getting this far on a piece of paper and looking at it from time to time. If you don’t have any goals, then make sure that you set a few at that moment. They can be anything that is important to you or that makes your heart beat faster when you think about accomplishing it.

Before you know it, you’ll be able to run faster, jump higher, or walk on the moon. You might not get there today or tomorrow, but if you keep at it and don’t give up you will be able to have your goals accomplished.

9) Be positive

Positive thinking is important because of its proven ability to change the mindset of a person. Learn how to think positively by reading uplifting books and going to courses in positive thinking. These things will help you to see your situation in a different light and will boost your self-confidence.

10) Be your own hero

Be your own hero. Pick yourself up off the floor when you are brokenhearted, and show the world that you can survive heartbreak. Try to be strong even if you do not feel it inside and know there are others out there who can relate. Whether they have been through it themselves or have someone close to them who has been through it.

Bonus Tips

Seek out new friendships

After a breakup, it is usually a good idea to seek out new friendships and reconnect with old friends. A healthy network of people around you makes you feel good about yourself. You can talk about things that are going on in your life with others, or ask them for advice. It is very helpful to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about your own life.

Change your routine

Changing up your daily routine may help boost your confidence and make things seem like they are not so bad. If for example, you used to go to the same place in the morning for coffee and doughnuts, try going somewhere different or trying something new for breakfast. You will likely see a great difference in how you feel about yourself a short time after changing up your routine.

Is it normal to have low self-esteem after a breakup?

Yes. Self-esteem can take a hard hit after a breakup. There are usually a few reasons why this happens:

  • Some people have been through breakups before and may be more prone to them in the future.
  • Our feelings are all over the place after a breakup, and it is difficult to separate one feeling from another so it can be really difficult to figure out what each person is trying to say.
  • We are trying to validate our feelings and believe they are real and normal when they may not be.

A break-up can feel like the end of the world and sometimes be a very hard experience to deal with. Remember, however, that you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people throughout society will feel this way after a breakup. It is only natural that one would feel insecure in such a situation if there is so much uncertainty in your life.

But, you can change these thoughts with a few positive changes to your life. When you have more confidence in yourself and the ways in which you are feeling, you will feel better about yourself and probably begin to feel better about the breakup. Some people will experience low self-esteem for years after a breakup and there are some that seem to bounce back almost instantly.

How do I stop feeling sorry for myself after a breakup?

Break up can be tough on anyone. You may feel like things don’t matter anymore, you have a sense of loss and of not knowing what is going to happen next. It can be very hard for someone to move on from a breakup. This is natural enough but the question is: how do you move on?

The first thing you need to do if you want to stop feeling sorry for yourself after a breakup is to open up about your feelings to someone else. You need someone that will acknowledge these feelings and help you through them.

This is why tips on how to end a relationship should be applied when going through a breakup. If you have someone in your life that knows what you are going through, they can be your support system and help guide you out of the rough patches.

You need to talk about every aspect of the relationship, not just one of its problems. Your friend will definitely understand when things got too serious or if your ex wasn’t as great as you had thought.

They will be a shoulder to cry on when things get tough. They will be the ones to make you laugh and help you feel better when you’re having a rough day. They will be your best friend, your lover, and your partner in crime. In the end, they will also be the love that you fell so head over heels for. You can trust them with every single thing that comes to mind and they will make sure to understand everything in the best way possible.


The best of us have all been through a break up of some kind. With the right mindset around new beginnings and beng hopeful of the opportunities that lie ahead can be exciting.

The first thing you will need to do is get that mindset. When you are in a good place and feel good about yourself, the best way to get over a breakup is to look at it as an opportunity. Maybe a new relationship will open up or maybe there will be new opportunities in your life that you have always wanted to explore.

Regardless of what happens, you can take control of your life having learned important lessons that will help you enjoy the rest of your day while focusing on the things that do make you happy. You can look at the situation as a blessing in disguise or even what you needed in order to truly appreciate what you once had.

With this outlook, it will be easier for you to move on and find your inner confidence again. Look at the situation as a hopeful move forward instead of a step back and you will find that things are only getting better.

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