Sometimes when you are on that downhill slope of thinking you’re not good enough, it’s time to stop, reflect, and try something new. If you’ve been feeling like you’re not good enough for a while now and have tried every idea on the planet, these ten ideas may give you a fresh perspective on what has been holding you back from success.
How to stop thinking i’m not good enough – 10 ideas for success
1. Adjust your thinking to the right state.
It’s easy to get down on yourself when you’re in a negative state. Thoughts such as “I can’t do this”, “I’m not smart enough”, or “I’m not pretty enough” might be floating around in your head. What you need to do is adjust your thinking to the right state before you even begin trying to tackle self-doubt. In his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, Dale Carnegie talks about the power of positive thinking.
He says: Let’s suppose you want to sell soap. You need soap. So take your mind off the soap and get it on the right track by thinking of how to sell your product. You begin by planning every detail of your advertising campaign, every point of contact with customers, every detail of your down-to-earth display windows, and every word you shall use in selling your product. Don’t think of the soap. Think of how to sell it.
So when you think of your dreams and goals, remind yourself that you can achieve them. Remind yourself that you have the power within yourself to change your life for the better. Remind yourself that no matter what happens, you can always bounce back from any negative situation because you are stronger than every obstacle thrown in your path. With positive self-talk and thinking, you’ll start to feel more confident about whatever it is that’s been holding you back from success.
2. Identify what self-limiting beliefs are holding you back.
The first step to taking control of your life is to understand what is holding you back from success. Self-limiting beliefs are the ones that stop you from achieving your goals, no matter how hard you try to overcome them. Let’s say for example, you have been wanting to start a business but have been stuck because of the belief that “I can’t start a business from scratch. I don’t have the skill necessary to do this.”
Your self-limiting belief is preventing you from starting a business. You have been believing that, and so you have never taken the steps towards starting your business. You might be saying something like: “I can’t start my own business because I haven’t had any job in the past 3 years.”
You’ve been telling yourself lies, and that’s why you’re stuck in your life right now. Once you understand that your own beliefs are holding you back from success, you’ll be able to take action to move past those beliefs.
3. Use affirmations to change negative self-talk into positive self-talk.
Affirmations are something that I’ve talked about many times before, but for a quick recap, it’s simply positive self-talk. It’s like the motivational posters you see everywhere but it’s not just a motivational poster (though it can also be used as one). Affirmations are like a double-edged sword. They can help you to stay motivated, but they can also be used in a negative manner.
Let’s say for example, you are in the phase of life where you feel like you’re not good enough and you compare yourself to someone else who is more successful than you. If this is the case, the type of affirmations you need to use are the ones that focus on self-love and self-acceptance. If it’s working out for someone else, then it can work for me too.
Here are some affirmations that can help you to change negative self-talk into positive ones:
I am confident and successful. I love the way I look, and I like the way I feel inside. I am awesome just the way that I am. Success is within my reach.
Affirmations can be used for many things, whether it’s to boost confidence, improve results in life, or just to escape from your current bad situation. The problem with affirmations is that it’s easy for them to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy as well. Let me explain: you start believing in something and then if you consistently think about this thing over time, it becomes what you want.
Like when you want to lose weight, for instance. So you stare your picture of a fit, lean and muscular body in the mirror every morning until you believe that this is how you are going to look eventually. Then you start making food choices and working out on a regular basis so that you can be that person in the picture. And pretty soon, you actually do look like your “self-fulfilling prophecy” because it’s now become your reality.
Affirmations are truly powerful tools when used correctly. I wrote an article on how to use affirmations for confidence and self-acceptance if you want more details on how this works (this takes time!).
4. Increase your self-esteem so that you can improve your self-confidence.
Another reason why you may be feeling like you’re not good enough is because of low self-esteem, which can result in a lack of self-confidence as well. Self-esteem and confidence go hand in hand, and if one is low then the other will be low as well. Your confidence level determines how willing you are to take action towards achieving your goals, while your self-esteem determines whether or not you have the ability to do what it takes to succeed.
For example, let’s say that I want to become an entrepreneur and start my own business but I don’t believe in myself enough since I’m afraid of not succeeding. On top of that, I don’t believe that I have what it takes to be successful. Then I may start saying things like “I don’t think I can do it.” And if my self-esteem is low enough and my confidence level is low enough, then eventually, I’ll end up doing nothing about pursuing my dreams.
Low confidence and low self-esteem will prevent you from taking action towards achieving your goals. Even if you’re going after a goal like losing weight (which can be hard), or learning a foreign language, or starting a business, you have to have an inner sense of confidence to make it happen. You have to believe in yourself, and that’s going take some time and effort.
5. Focus on what you are good at
Everyone has something that they are good at doing. Even if you’re not good at a certain thing that you want to do, this doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful doing it. Although there will always be people who are better than you at something, there is always someone out there better than everyone else as well. You just have to believe in yourself and make it happen!
Self-confidence comes from knowing what you are amazing at, and believing in yourself enough to take action towards achieving your goals despite the setbacks along the way. There is no shame in being great at something, even if it’s not what you want to do for a career or business right now.
There are many people who have turned their passion into something that they are great at, and it has changed their lives for the better.
6. Be aware of your beliefs and the thoughts that come to you.
Recognizing the lies that you are believing is crucial towards creating change in your life. This means that you need to be conscious of your thoughts and take note of them when they start to come up. Compare yourself with other people, but don’t focus on being better than someone else, just focus on being perfect for yourself and not someone else. What’s more important is to be a good example for others.
I have been saying it before, but I’ll keep saying it until the end: The only benefit in comparing yourself to others is that you can feel more confident knowing that you are always better than someone else at something.
7. Practice gratitude
Be grateful for what you currently have in your life. A lot of people are so focused on having a nicer car or a bigger house, but this is not going to make them happier in the long run. What really makes us happy is when we have an attitude of gratitude towards our current situation and the things that we have.
It’s so easy to beat ourselves up for not being successful yet or for not having achieved our goals yet but guess what? If you’re beating yourself up, then why would anyone else want to put in their hard work towards making you feel better? You need to build your self-confidence from within first.
Remember that you are awesome and that you have the ability to make things happen. Gratitude is important because it gives a healthy perspective on life, not just for others but for ourselves as well.
8. Take up meditation focused on positivity
Meditation can be used to help improve your self-confidence by helping you focus on the positive aspects of yourself in all situations. You need to be able to separate yourself from your thoughts and have control over your mind so that you are able to think positively about yourself. Meditation will help you with this, especially using techniques such as loving-kindness meditation, learning how to meditate in 3 minutes, or just short guided meditations.
Being in control of your mind is important because our thoughts can often run wild and create all kinds of negativity. This negativity can prevent us from taking action towards achieving our goals, so we need a method we can use whenever we feel like negative thoughts are holding us back.
9. Visualize yourself succeeding.
I know this sounds like a pretty simple thing to do, but it can make a huge difference if you practice it regularly. There are many techniques out there for visualizing yourself succeeding but the basic idea behind all of them is that you take the time to think positively about your ideal reality and yourself.
I’m not talking about lying in bed at night and thinking positive thoughts about what you want to happen sometime in the future. That doesn’t really count as visualization. What I mean is sitting down with pen and paper and actually thinking about what your ideal reality would be like if everything went according to plan. I’ve written about visualization techniques before, so you can check it out here if you’re interested.
Visualizing yourself succeeding is not just about making yourself feel good, but it’s also about becoming emotionally better prepared for the setbacks that will inevitably happen along the way. So if you create an ideal vision of what your life will be like after you’ve achieved your goals, then you can use that vision as a starting point to get through all the hard work along the way.
10. Learn new things
I have always been fascinated by the idea of being a polymath, or being really good at many different things. I think it’s something that everyone should strive to be. Let’s say you’re trying to create a business that sells jewellery but you have no experience with this. You would learn everything you can related to this – maybe by picking up a book or two, watching YouTube videos, talking to people who are in the business, or whatever else you can do.
Learning new things will help build your self-confidence because it expands your mind and gives you more knowledge and skills that can be used to create success in your life. Not everyone is great at something, but you are definitely awesome at something! Learn as many things as you can that can be of use to you in your life, and that will give you more self-confidence.
The more knowledge in your head, the more self-confidence you have.
It’s so easy to focus on everything you’re not or what’s wrong with yourself. You need to be conscious of that when these thoughts come up, and you need to push past them. The most important thing is to realize that it’s okay to not be good at something right now, and that’s perfectly fine. The goal is not to be better than someone else, the goal is to learn as much as you can about yourself and take action towards achieving your goals.
Don’t let your current situation define who you are as a person, only what you are capable of doing. When starting out, everyone is equal in the sense that we have no idea what we can achieve unless we try our best towards it.
I hope my advice about self-confidence and confidence has been helpful to you. If you’re struggling, I can help! Reach out and let’s chat!