Self-confidence is the key to unlocking your potential. It’s what drives you to make that call, apply for the job, and pursue that goal. But too many people feel they have low self-confidence and don’t know how to build it or even where to start.
We all know the type of person who radiates confidence, so it’s hard to believe they’re self-doubting. This isn’t a question of having or not having confidence; it’s more about how to use your confidence because when you don’t know how to build it, it doesn’t really work.
The key lies in understanding what you’re passionate about, attaining the right level of success, and feeling confident that you can do great things. In order to develop self-confidence, we need to identify the factors and learn how to control them.
Identifying self-confidence factors and how to control them
1. Be passionate about what you believe in
What we believe in is the biggest factor in whether self-confidence comes easily to us or not. It’s all about having the passion that drives you to get good results at work or in your personal life, as well as your determination to achieve your goals and dreams. When you’re passionate about life, your confidence will be multiplied and you’ll feel more capable of handling any situation.
2. Get the right level of success
Success is more than money. It’s about identifying your passion, then making it come true. You have to choose a profession that you love and put all your efforts to achieve excellence in it. You have to trust yourself so you won’t fall back in the cycle of negative habits.
Your passion can be anything that you’re good at, even if it’s something that’s outside your comfort zone. If you have enough self-confidence to put everything you have in your desired profession, then success will blossom in ways you can’t imagine.
3. Be realistic and don’t worry about what others say
When you have confidence in your ability to be successful, it’s amazing how many people will try to bring you down. It’s a fact of life that not everyone will understand or believe in what you’re doing, so it’s up to you to keep moving forward regardless of the discouraging words.
You don’t want negativity in your life, so don’t let other people suck your energy. Be positive, know your limits, and keep practising every day. At the end of the day, you have only yourself to blame if you fail.
4. Be proud of who you are and don’t worry about making mistakes
Another thing that’s bound to kill your self-confidence is worrying about mistakes. No one gets it right all the time, so be proud of yourself no matter what happens in your work or personal life. Learn from your mistakes and move on with a positive attitude instead of dwelling on them.
Self-confidence isn’t about being perfect, it’s about striving to be the best you can be. If you’re proud of everything you do, then you can handle mistakes with grace and not let them tear you down.
5. Be open-minded and keep learning
Success is possible when you’re open-minded enough to accept help from others. I’m not talking about doing everything others say, but rather be thankful for their lessons in life. I’m not a fan of self-help books for just this reason, but I am a huge advocate for people willing to give you information that might have the potential to make your life better. Be open-minded and ready to learn from everyone around you, and you’ll grow in amazing ways.
How to build self-confidence in 9 different ways
Here are some activities or things you can do that will build self-confidence in you:
1. Act like a confident person when nobody is looking
It’s easy to talk like you’re confident when no one is around and can only imagine what people are thinking, but if you want others to see how confident you really are, then act like it when your back is turned. Be bold and take risks when your colleagues are watching, and they’ll have no choice but to recognize your leadership abilities.
People get paid extremely well to do this, they are called “actors”. That’s right , you have to act confident when nobody’s watching so people will see it when they are.
2. Focus on what you’re good at and accept your weaknesses
The biggest reason why people lack self-confidence is that they don’t focus on what they’re good at; instead, they focus on their weaknesses. Focus on what you are awesome at and amplify that. It’s more important to control your weaknesses than try to find something to hide.
For instance, if you’re afraid of public speaking, make it a point to speak up when people are looking at you. Make sure you get the opportunity and practice whenever possible. When people are listening and watching how you behave and speak, that’s when they begin to see your confidence. They’ll see that you’re not afraid of what they think; in fact, you know that what you say is correct and worth paying attention to.
3. Get good at something, it’ll build self-confidence
If you want to have self-confidence in your personal life, then get good at something. It’s simple: the more practice you get in doing a particular thing and showing others what you’re good at, the more confidence you’ll have. When it comes to working though. I would recommend finding a mentor. Someone experienced enough to give you some tips on how to approach your job.
Learning something new is a great way to build self-confidence because you’re getting better at something, and when you get better at something, you’ll have a sense of accomplishment. That will build your self-confidence in many aspects of your life.
4. Learn how to deal with failure
This is the hardest part of building self-confidence. When you fail, it’s very easy to feel like a failure and accept it. When people do this, they can’t see their strengths and weaknesses because of what they’re going through. They lose sight of themselves and become disheartened by the entire situation.
It’s difficult to accept failure. But when you do, use it as a chance to learn more and try again. You can’t succeed unless you try, and failure is a good teacher. When you succeed, it is not only great for your confidence but also gives you a feeling of accomplishment which will help fuel your determination to continue onward.
Michael Jordan has a great saying “I’ve failed over and over in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
5. There’s no secret formula for self-confidence, just believe in yourself and be open to trying new things
When you’re a beginner at something – anything, from chess to basketball to cooking, learning how to have self-confidence is a challenge. You may choose the wrong career path or go through difficult experiences that could get you down. This doesn’t mean everything goes your way either.
It’s important to remember that you’re human. You’ll have good and bad days, good and bad decisions, good and bad experiences. That’s life. If you want to build self-confidence, then keep trying to find what works for you. You can’t let a few failures hold you back from becoming successful in the future.
I do not believe there is a magic formula for self-confidence because some people will require more effort than others. For some, they may need to become more physically active. For others, they may need to learn how to cook or improve their interviewing skills.
6. Self-confidence is not a static thing. It’s something you build through experiences
My definition of self-confidence is fairly broad. It isn’t just about accomplishments or physical prowess.
I believe having self-confidence comes from handling life’s challenges well. If you’re always learning new things, you can always try new things, and if you don’t let small mistakes hold you back from achieving your goals, then it will help boost your self-confidence.
7. It’s usually a good idea to have real achievements under your belt
While confidence can come from physical strength and intelligence, it’s important to make sure that you have some real-world accomplishments. If you’re constantly chasing the next dream job or promotion, then it makes it seem like you’re hungry and passionate about becoming successful in the future. This could help your confidence get a boost when you finally land the position or promotion you desire.
8. Think of the worst thing that could happen.
This is a great way for anyone to find motivation but especially great for millennials who, like any other generation, tend to be overly optimistic. Instead of focusing on the positive and ideal outcome, think about the very worst that could possibly happen during your interview or presentation and attempt to prepare a strategy or solution around it beforehand. This will make you feel more ready for anything that comes your way and also help you nourish some self-confidence.
9. Laugh before you talk.
Being self-confident means having the courage to speak up even if it can make others uncomfortable or discourage them. However, the first step is to laugh at yourself and laugh with others.
Don’t be afraid of criticism or awkwardness. Laughing will break the tension and help you keep moving forward, which will help boost your self-confidence. It’s also a good way to build your confidence when you’re approaching a person that you haven’t met yet or presenting a project. A little laughter might just give you the courage to go on and do what needs to be done.
“Self-confidence is nothing but judgment of yourself not from the negative point of view, but from the positive one. Self-confidence comes from the understanding of your real situation. It’s being comfortable with who you are, with what you have and what you could become.” – Jean-Claude Killy
Understanding your strengths and weaknesses and their importance in developing self-confidence
We also need to understand our own strengths and weaknesses. There’s nothing wrong with admitting it, working on it, and understanding what you can do well; in fact, it’s quite empowering. We should be realistic about our own strengths and weaknesses, which involves getting feedback from both friends and family as well as learning more about ourselves.
No one is going to have all strengths or no weaknesses. However, understanding how you handle the situation when you’re confronted with either a strength or a weakness can help boost your self-confidence when you get to a place where you can overcome it.
Focus on your strengths as this is what you are good at. Focus on the behaviour that is beneficial to you and work on improving your weaknesses. You don’t need to be perfect, you’re human; just make sure that you know where you stand. That way, even if everything doesn’t go as planned at first, at least you can try new things to help improve your situation.
Remember: “No one is born with self-confidence; it’s something you build through experiences and learning. And this is why it’s so important to keep learning. If you want to be successful in your life, then you have to learn every day and always be willing and able to reinvent yourself.”
In order to build self-confidence, we must first identify our weaknesses.
One way do this is by surrounding yourself with people that will be truthful and you trust. Ask them for feedback on what they believe your weaknesses are and improve on them.
Sometimes, we may give up on trying to fix our own flaws when we know that it’s already going to be painful. But if someone sees the same flaws in us, then they will have no problem pointing them out.
We might want to ignore our weaknesses or just push them aside and hope that they don’t matter in the end, but this is often not the case. While don’t labour on the fact that these are weaknesses look to your trove of strengths and how they could help counteract the weaknesses that you have.
The key to dealing with weakness is to acknowledge that it’s important, then you should figure out what caused it, and finally find a way to either correct the issue or work around it the next time. It might feel uncomfortable for a moment, but if you’re willing to take the steps that need to be taken, then you’ll grow.
Why does self-confidence matter to your success?
The biggest reason why self-confidence is so important is that you’re going to go through situations that are either difficult or awkward and you may need it. It’s not only about the confidence boost but also the courage to take risks and try to find what works for you.
If you’re lacking in self-confidence, then don’t worry about it too much. There are simple things that we can do today that will help boost our self-confidence and make us feel more positive about ourselves. In the end, being confident and improving self-confidence will help us grow and continue to learn more, which is what we all want.
To be successful there is a common connection between confidence. This is because you have to feel good about yourself in order to be successful. You don’t have to be arrogant, conceited, or believe that you’re better than everyone else but it’s important that you believe in yourself—have faith in your ability and willingness to work hard.
Having self-confidence in your personal life will help you feel more positive about yourself when accomplishing everyday tasks around the house or with your family. The same can be said about work; having self-confidence is beneficial when trying to land a new job or promotion.
What are some examples of self-confidence?
Sometimes people need examples to understand a concept. In this case, self-confidence is something that is built up with your experiences. Therefore, there aren’t many examples of self-confidence because we all have different things that we’re good at and bad at. Nevertheless, here are a few:
1. Completing a task correctly
When you feel self-confident, you are confident in your abilities to do something and not fear that you won’t be able to accomplish what you need to achieve.
For example, if you’re confident about your cooking skills, then if you have something for dinner that is unfamiliar to you, then it’s going to be a lot easier for you to try the new recipe. If you’re afraid that you’re not going to be able to make something or don’t like the recipe, then it’s going to be a lot of pressure on your shoulders and may leave you feeling anxious.
2. Speaking up in situations that are awkward
When we have self-confidence, we feel comfortable doing things that are normally difficult or awkward. Even if other people may think differently or disagree with our beliefs in certain situations, we aren’t afraid because we know that they won’t take away our confidence.
In this scenario, you may feel nervous about speaking up at a family dinner or with your boss; if you do, then it’s a good sign that you have self-confidence. If you are having trouble with coming up with something to say or when someone is talking to you, then try saying “I agree” or “I know what you mean.” Then take the time to observe the situation and play it by ear.
3. Presenting your idea in front of others.
We all experience feelings of self-doubt and fear when presenting ideas to others. But if you feel comfortable in the situation, then you’re more likely to have confidence in what you have to say. Try to speak without hesitation and if the other person makes a comment about your idea, then try not to get defensive but instead realize that it’s their view, point of view, or opinion.
If they do agree with your idea or think that it is good, then you’ll be fine. If they don’t think that it’s a good idea, then it’s okay too because you have self-confidence.
4. Running for a new job
When you’re going through the hiring process, one of the biggest reasons why self-confidence is important is because you’ve already been hired for a position before doesn’t mean that you’re going to get it again. If you don’t feel comfortable with your past achievements or experience, then it’s going to be harder to land the job.
There are plenty of companies out there that are looking for someone with experience and knowledge; someone who works hard and has good character. Are you going to be one of them? If not, then it’s okay. Just work hard on improving your skills and what you know so that when the time comes you’ll be ready.
5. Being the life of the party.
Everybody wants to be the person that everyone loves to be around and, if we’re honest, we’d love to be that person too. If you have self-confidence then it’s easy for you to do this. You’re not afraid to tell a joke or make a fool out of yourself because you know that nobody is going to judge you or be rude about it.
What are some techniques that I can use to build my own self-confidence?
1. Write down your values and learn to live by them
In my mind, this is the single most important step in how to build self-confidence. You need to put words on paper and then live by them. We see people all the time who are failing in life because they have failed to do this. They say something like: “I want a goal of _.” Good for you, but they haven’t put this “goal” into writing or spoken it from their heart. It’s the same with values. You need to put them on paper, and then learn to live by them.
2. Focus on your strengths and build from the foundation up
One of the more insidious problems we have in our society today is low self-esteem. It is estimated that about 70% of people suffer from it, whether they are aware of it or not. What often happens to these people is they concentrate on their weaknesses rather than their strengths. Simply put, it’s a waste of time and energy to concentrate on your weaknesses. Concentrate instead on how you can use your strengths to build more confidence and success.
3. Change the way you feel about yourself by writing it down
This is a great technique. The amazing thing about it is that it works even if you don’t believe it will. So, just put down words like, “I am awesome” and “I have the courage to…” and repeat them over and over again to yourself until you start feeling better about yourself again.
4. Use your imagination
Visualize what it would be like to be more confident and to do the things that you can’t do now. This is a great way to get yourself going in the right direction. You have to really feel like you are already there before it will actually happen, so use your imagination and start believing.
5. Learn the technique of affirmations
I love this technique. It works because it puts things into a framework for you so that you don’t get lost in all the thoughts floating around your brain. You need to learn how to do affirmations properly if you really want them to work for you.
6. Create a vision board
A vision board is a great way to help you visualize your goals and dreams. These are things that you want to achieve but can’t seem to make it happen in real life.
7. Stop comparing yourself to others
This is one of the most damaging habits that you can get into. I’ve suffered from it for a long time, and it causes nothing but stress and anxiety. The worst thing about comparing to others is that we only compare ourselves with those who are above us or around us. So, if we have a friend who is really good looking or intelligent or rich, then we think that they are better than us in some way and it just makes us feel bad about ourselves.
What are some self-confidence books I can read to help develop self-confidence?
There is a plethora of great books that have been written on this topic. Here are some of the best that we recommend to help you along your path.
1. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey.
On a scale of 1 to 5, I’d rate this book a 6, one of the more well-written books out there on the topic of self-confidence. Strongly recommended for those with self-doubt or even those who have done something that they are not proud of and want to rebuild their life.
2. The Power of Positive Thinking – Norman Vincent Peale.
This book is for those who are looking for a quick fix to building self-confidence. It has some helpful anecdotes about some famous people and how they overcame their negative thinking to have great success. Again, for the person who wants short term gain, there are a few techniques in this book that can help you out of a temporary rut.
3. The 8 Self Esteem Essentials – Deborah Bial
This is an excellent resource for those who want a guide to help build and maintain self-esteem. The author takes a positive stance on the subject, and this book will give you the tools you need to succeed.
4. Your Erroneous Zones – Wayne Dyer
Another great book by the author of, The Power of Intention. In this book, he shows you how to use your talents and abilities in a more positive way, which will help you with your self-confidence. A good one for those who suffer from an inferiority complex.
5. The Greatest Salesman in the World – Og Mandino
Written like a fable with a man seeking wisdom from a wise old king or sorcerer. It’s a brief read, and the story itself is an old one, but it has the power to speak to your heart if you let it. The book focuses on building one’s character and taking action to achieve your desires rather than letting life happen to you.
6. As A Man Thinketh – James Allen
This is not as well-known as some of the other books listed, but I find it helpful for those who are looking for a deeper understanding of how our thoughts affect us. It is a great read to help you understand the power of your mind and how to create your own reality.
7. What Matters Most – Richard Bach
I’ve found this little gem of a book written by Richard Bach, author of the famous novel, The Bridge Over Falling Water. This book focuses mainly on how our thoughts affect our abundance in life.
8. It’s Your Turn to Eat – Ann Weiser Cornell and Beverly Barton
This is another book that is as short as it is profound. It was written in a relationship way, and it resonates with many of the readers who feel like they are never good enough in relationships. There are some useful hints in here for building confidence, as well as just how much we need our friends and loved ones.
9. The Confidence Factor – Dr. David M. Burns
A good book to help those who suffer from low self-esteem. It is written in a basic format so that anyone can understand the principles that are being discussed. The author uses the case histories of his patients to show you how quickly you can turn things around if you just take the steps he outlines in his book.
10. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem – Nathaniel Branden
This is a classic book that takes you through the six steps you can take to build your self-esteem and self-confidence. It is another highly recommended book for building self-confidence that will last a lifetime.
What are some podcasts I can lists to help with self-confidence?
- The Self Confidence Show Podcast – Good for those that want to hear strategies and ideas on how to build self-confidence. It will be a good source of information and inspiration.
- The Self Confidence Podcast – another good podcast on the topic of self-confidence.
- The Self Esteem Podcast – it’s hosted by Nathaniel Branden, who is also the author of, “The Six Pillars of Self Esteem” so you know that you’re getting someone with a lot of knowledge on the subject talking to you every week. This is a good podcast for those who want to learn more about building self-confidence and achieving their goals.
- The Power Of Positive Thinking – by Norman Vincent Peale. This is a short podcast, just 10 minutes, and it’s all about how to concentrate on your thoughts and think positive.
- The Success Principles – Jack Canfield. This is another short podcast by the author of the Self Confidence Book listed above. It’s all about his principles for success and what you can do to make them come true in your own life.
- The Feel Good Lifestyle – Martin Zitter. This is a great podcast for those who want to learn more about self-confidence and improving their life overall but are also interested in things like healthy eating, exercise tips, stress relief techniques, living simply, etc.
- Self Esteem, Personal Growth & Psychology – Dr. Peter D. Stensrud, PhD, who has been a clinical psychologist for over thirty years, an international educator for much of that time and an innovator in the field of personal development and psychology is giving away his best information on this podcast.
- The Self Improvement Podcast – Don Hutcheson is the host of this podcast; he’s a self-help guru and all-around great guy who will help you to build your self-confidence with practical advice that you can put to work right away.
What are some quotes on self-confidence that you can use for inspiration?
“A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him.” – Tennessee Williams
“What you are is what you have been; what you’ll be is what you do now.” – Bruce Lee
“We need to stop acting like whiners and become winners. Whinging is a loser’s habit; winners have winning habits.” – Harvey Mackay
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. You are imperfect. You always will be, so don’t hide from it; embrace it and move on.” – Dr. Robert Anthony
“As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.” – Donald Trump
“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire
“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” – Mary Kay Ash
“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” –Carl Sandburg
“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. For the future is what you make it. The past is only what was.” — George Bernard Shaw
“Don’t wait for your life to begin; begin to live it.” — William James
“If you want to change, then start by changing yourself.” — Dale Carnegie
“As a man thinketh, so he is.” — Solomon ibn Gabirol
“The gift of education is one of the grandest privileges that God has bestowed upon man. It is a light to guide your feet when all other lights go out.” — Charles Curtis
“The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.” — Arthur C. Clarke, 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
“When it comes to self-image, you are what you think you are!” — Dr. Joe Vitale
As we’ve learned, there are many ways that we can boost our self-confidence. It all depends on what works for you. It doesn’t matter if you’re feeling confident right now or not. Everyone has days where they feel great and days where they feel horrible; that’s just how it goes.
Your goal is to feel better and have more in your life, even if it’s small steps that you’re making. If you want to feel more confident then try not to get discouraged. If you made a mistake and it wasn’t one that was all that big, then don’t stress about it. Take the time to figure out what you need to work on and improve on so that in the end you’ll feel better about yourself.
These tips may not work for you and that’s okay. Everyone is different and has different ways of improving their self-confidence. All you have to do is keep learning what works for you, keep trying new things, and realize that it will take some time but in the end, it will all pay off.