False confidence is the belief that you can accomplish something without proving yourself. What this means is that you do not need to take the time, effort, and risk to succeed because you are confident that you can.
False confidence is basically believing in yourself without a lot of actual evidence that this belief is valid. Sometimes it may even be experienced as arrogance by others. As humans we want to feel like we are worth something so false confidence can quickly become a bad thing. It’s important to realize when your false confidence is messed up and replace it with real confidence.
False confidence can lead to more problems than just annoying your friends and coworkers. When we believe in ourselves without proving this belief, it may lead to bad decision-making. We could end up making poor decisions on the job, in our relationships, or other areas of our lives.
The good news is that we can take steps to replace false confidence with real confidence. Here are five ways to find real confidence:
1. Stop lying to yourself.
As humans, we like to think that we are better than we really are. We believe we have more talent, skill, and ability than what we actually do.
But when we lie to ourselves that makes us feel better in the short-term, but it’s not a good thing in the long-term. Lying to yourself is your brain trying to make you feel better and sometimes those lies can keep you from finding reality.
Integrity in yourself is just as important as your integrity with others. You need to know who you are and what you’re capable of. This isn’t about bragging or showing off, this is about being honest with yourself and those around you.
2. Lower your expectations.
One of the biggest lies we believe about ourselves is how high our expectations are for ourselves. We think we can accomplish so much more than we should really expect of ourselves.
When you have high expectations for yourself it’s easy to set yourself up for failure. This is especially true when you don’t take the time to prove that your high expectations are valid and achievable.
Focus on what you want to do and then take steps towards proving it’s true by taking action. This gives your confidence a solid foundation that you can build on.
3. Make sure your confidence is earned.
If you’ve earned the confidence you have, that makes it so much more valuable. When we earn our confidence, we didn’t just think it up, we worked for it and proved ourselves. You not only need to prove your belief in yourself by taking action, but you also need to prove others’ beliefs about yourself are valid.
Without earning your confidence there’s a good chance your false confidence can quickly become arrogant. That’s because arrogance means believing you’re better than others instead of believing what is most likely reality.
4. Be real with yourself, others, and the world.
Be real with other people. This word means be honest as possible without being a braggart or someone who acts like a jerk to people. This is about being authentic and not pretending to be something that you’re not.
Be brave and talk honestly with yourself as well as others in your life. If you have a hard time with this, there’s no shame in taking some extra time to become more comfortable with taking risks.
Be real with everyone else as well. Sometimes we expect other people to be honest like we are. That’s not how it works though, others don’t think the way you do and having this attitude towards those around you makes it hard to build a bond of trust with them.
5. Know that confidence is earned and take action.
Without learning that confidence is earned you’ll never be able to make it more real. Without taking action, your confidence will never become real or solid.
So in order for confidence to become a real thing, you need to learn how confidence is earned and then start taking action. The more you act on what you want in your life the better results you’ll have and the more confident you’ll feel about what you’re doing in life.
What are signs of false confidence?
A great example of false confidence is when we make announcements to the public that can be accomplished: a television show, a product launch, an upcoming event, etc.
This kind of false confidence is easy to spot because it’s often completely unearned. We might have spent hundreds or thousands of hours on this thing but we never really proved ourselves. In fact, as soon as it’s announced everyone knows how little effort was put into it by our team.
Real confidence is to know that you’re going to take the time and effort to accomplish something. It’s putting your pride on the line and proving yourself. If you can confidently prove yourself, then you’re building real confidence.
Why do they say fake it till you make it?
Let’s say you’re trying to land a new job. You’ve got the ideal resume, and you know the things that will impress your interviewer. And yet…you still feel like you have nothing to offer. Well, there is some hope! Fake it till you make it.
You may feel like you don’t have a lot of confidence because you haven’t accomplished everything you want to do yet. But the thing is, your confidence will only develop when you take action. Action is where you create real change in your life.
So if your goal is to feel more confident, just keep doing what you are already doing again and again. Your actions will prove to yourself that you are capable of accomplishing more. And then you’ll feel more confident.
What does fake confidence look like?
I’ve seen people who will brag about how much money they make or how qualified they are when they really aren’t. Those people are just being arrogant and it’s not a good thing for your confidence.
If you brag constantly and don’t back yourself up through your actions, that can kill your self-confidence in the long term.
Fake confidence looks like you being arrogant when you haven’t really proved yourself. It looks like you living a lie until your actions match up with what you’re saying.
This is why fake confidence is a bad thing to have for your self-confidence — confidence is based on reality, and so fake confidence will always be based on a lie.
How do I know if my confidence is real?
Sometimes we think we have more courage than we actually do. This is called imposter syndrome. Think about it: you think you can do something, but the fact that you haven’t put in the hours of practice to back up your confidence makes it easy for someone else to point out that this isn’t true.
Imposter syndrome happens when we don’t take action on our own goals and dreams, and instead look to others for validation. The problem is, you can’t depend on others to prove to you that you’re capable, because this isn’t their job! Once you take action based on your own goals and dreams, your confidence will come from that.
If you’re confident about what you have done in your past and what you are going to do in the future, that confidence will create results. Your success will make you feel more confident because you’ve proved yourself through your actions.
Once you’ve got a great track record for what you’re doing in life, then it will be easier to keep building confidence on top of that.
Confidence is all about proving to yourself and others that you know what you’re doing. When your passion meets the right amount of proven action, that creates confidence and makes it easier for more successes to follow.
You can build your self-confidence and we have a great way to learn in our guide to self-confidence here.