“If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.”Jen Sincero
Who is this book for?
As the title suggests this book is for people who are looking to transform themselves into the badass who lives their life to the fullest. It is a very practical guide on helping you analyse the things in your life that are holding you back. It has a range of strategies that help with creating mindsets that align your thoughts and habits to creating a life you actually want to live.
The core message is simply stop being a bystander in life. Stop acting like a victim. The only person holding you back from achieving the things you want to in life is that person looking in the mirror. Cut the bullshit and the lies. Cease habits such as starting sentences with lines like ‘I’m going to…’ ‘I can’t because of…’. Just do it man!
A lot of the content is not ground breaking, the key to the success of this book is the style of the delivery which I personally resonated with. Jen is super witty and funny in her delivery in her practical self-makeover guide and her thought exercises simplify the process to understanding what you want to do in life, how you are going to do it and getting into the mindset that you CAN do it.
The below mindset hacks are the best bits from the book which will give you an idea about how this book will help you achieve your desired mindset.
“There’s nothing as unstoppable as a freight train full of f**k-yeah.”Jen Sincero
Mindset Hack 1 – Stop being negative
Feeling sorry for yourself is lame. Get over it. No successful person in this world has continuously felt negative towards themselves. It’s not saying you can’t feel negative emotions. It’s the process of recognising them and then moving on. Don’t dwell, recognise, learn and take steps to move past these hurdles.
When you realise this, you will probably realise that it is yourself that is holding you back from achieving your goals. Just think about it. It’s particularly hard to reach your goals if you think you are a pretty shit! Recognise you have flaws,but these are not necessarily a hindrance to you achieving your goals.
An example of this would be that you wanted to get in shape, but you think to yourself that you have always been over weight. It’s impossible to get healthier and get to the goal you want to if you think you can’t do it. Obviously this kind of thinking is not going to allow you to get to where you want. Kick that attitude to the curb and realise your can achieve anything. Move past this thinking and concentrate on how you are going to achieve your goal.
“If you wanna stay stuck in the same place and keep getting spanked with the same lessons over and over, be negative, resentful, and victimized. If you want to get over your issues and rock your life, be grateful, look for the good and learn.”Jen Sincero
Mindset Hack 2 – Novice attitude, Gratitude and forgive.
Approach everything with a novice attitude. If you think you are an expert at everything how on earth are you ever going to learn more? Approach tasks like you are just a beginner with a willingness to learn new things. With this thinking you will move away from a mindset of wanting to prove things to people and yourself and embrace making mistakes and learning from these. This will help you move away from the fear of failure.
Being thankful goes a long way. Don’t be conceited but do it from a true place of gratitude. Recognise the good things you have in life and be outwardly thankful for them. When you are thankful towards other people this will in turn create a positive cycle of energy. Have you ever tried a a gratitude diary? Have a crack. Every night before you go to bed, either write them down or get an app where you can punch them in. Write 5 things you are thankful for. An exercise in appreciation which will help you recognise the good in your life.
Holding grudges are like poison. As Elsa sings ‘Let it go, let it gooooo’. Forgive whatever is holding you from moving forward. Whether you do it just to yourself or directly to the person, forgive. It’s not for them it’s for you. Also if you have caused harm and this weighs on you. The simple thing to do is to apologise. Be the bigger person, the relief is huge!
“Do not fall prey to the false belief that by forgiving someone you’re letting them off the hook. Because when you forgive someone you let yourself off the hook.”Jen Sincero
Mindset Hack 3 – Focus all aspects of your life towards your goal.
To get to the place you want to be, you need to focus your energy towards that goal. This has to to with all aspects of your life. Whether its your friends, your habits and the way you spend your money. All things in your life need to be aligned to the what your goal is.
Take for example if you have a feeling of not having enough time. Analyse your habits. There are twenty four hours in a day, I’m sure that you are wasting this precious commodity on things that do not help you with your goal. My personal example was watching television. Was it adding much value? No. Could I be doing more productive things? Yes. Simple, I just stopped watching TV and allowed just two to three hours a week to spend some quiet time with my wife on the sofa watching 90’s classics.
Sometimes getting to this mindset may seem a little self serving and selfish. OF COURSE IT IS! You need to align all the things in your life to your goal because it is about YOU! Obviously we all have our responsibilities but align these accordingly. Another example is friends. You got some downer friends, buh bye! What is the point of spending time with people who bring you down to their level. Either confront them about their negativity or just move on.
“Stop talking about how busy you are. Focus on what you enjoy about what you do and the spaces in between the doing instead of feeling weighed down by it all. Decide that you live an awesome, relaxed life full of interesting projects that you love doing and communicate that to the world and yourself. And then go out and merrily do it.”Jen Sincero
Key message of the book
Figure out the things that are holding you back from achieving the things in life you want to achieve. Then make a plan to address these blocks and make the necessary changes in your life and habits to put you on the right path. Focus on yourself and the outcome and in time the work you do will help you become a rockstar badass!
“You are responsible for what you say and do. You are not responsible for whether or not people freak out about it.”Jen Sincero